To Be a Lesbian Page 4

  "Why are you asking?"

  "Just checking if she's still alive. I don't want you to be left by yourself. We're all going to worry."

  The subject of his enquiry reached my side just then. I pointed to the phone, mouthing to Lulu that it was Casper I was talking to. Her cheeks turned pink. "She's here," I said. "We're arranging old clothes for charity, then we're off to the spa. All that cooking and cleaning," and waking up on the floor, "made my back stiff. I'll give Lulu the phone if you want to talk to her." My best friend stared hopefully at me.

  Casper sighed. "Tomorrow. I'll talk to her tomorrow," he said. "Jessie and my friends are asking me to leave. I need to go. I'll drop by soon, sis. I'm glad you're okay." I didn't ask, or more like, I wasn't given the chance to ask who this Jessie was. He'd ended the call.

  "He's in a hurry," I said to Lulu, diverting my eyes so I wouldn't see her face fall. "We should get going too. Spa's are always full. We don't want to wait that long."

  We found a parking spot several blocks from the establishment. It was the only downside of living here, as we were told by the realtor on the phone before buying the lot. Because of the college students and tourists often visiting the place, parking spaces were usually occupied. The free ones were always far from the intended destination, which was why walking was a strict option.

  The spa we chose was a haven of good-smelling essential oils, glowing water fountains on the walls, and toasty ambiance. An employee welcomed us with a polite bow and a cheery smile. "My friend and I want to have a full body massage," I said. "We forgot to make a reservation. Is there an available slot?"

  She glanced between me and Lulu, and nodded. "Perfect timing, ma'am. Two of our customers, a mother and daughter had to cancel their session for today. Right this way please." She took us to a dressing room where we could change into white robes and fluffy slippers. Lulu enjoyed her share of refillable iced tea before we were directed to separate rooms. "The masseuse will be with you shortly," the employee informed, leaving me alone.

  Shortly after reclining on the massage bed face down, the door slid open, and someone came inside. Probably the masseuse. "My lower back hurts," I said, reaching behind me. "You won't believe me if I tell you that I woke up on the floor last night, but if you can take care of that, I'll give you a good tip." Before long, she was stripping me from the robe, covering my backside with a towel. I shivered when her hands came in contact with my skin.

  The session started with a gentle massage, a soft press. It developed into a richer palpation as she kneaded the right spots, like a baker playing with dough. I sighed in contentment. My mother should hire her as an addition to our staff. From my neck, she then went to my spine, using her masterful fingers to soothe my aching muscles. My eyes fluttered close. "Oh God, you're good," I said. She was the best masseuse I've encountered in my life. Even the ones in Bali were no match, and they received a secret special training from what I've heard.

  I rooted my mind to the present where the masseuse was loosening the knots that have formed from yesterday's shenanigans. She'd reached the area separating my buttocks and lower back, and was expertly putting pressure on it. As a joke I said, "Your boyfriend must be very happy. I mean, who wouldn't want to come home to this, right?"

  I was reduced to a puddle of sensations when the pressure turned to rubbing, and her fingers slid lower. The oil wetted my inner thighs, slick and slippery. Was this part of the massage?

  With the repetitive movement, something, a build up, swelled inside of me. "Just continue," I panted. My toes curled at her caress. She rubbed a bit faster. The swelling intensified as if I was about to explode. Higher. Higher. More. Oh God! She withdrew her hands at the wrong second, pushing me from the top of the tallest mountain, crashing back to earth, my face flat on the ground.

  I squeezed my legs together, my heart palpating as I gasped for breath. I tried to make sense of what happened. It felt like. . . The throbbing was. . . I have never. She was leaving the room when I rose up to check, but not before I saw the ring on her finger as she turned the corner, uncannily similar to the one the taxi driver was wearing.

  "We're leaving," I said to Lulu on the lobby. "Did you pay them? Good. Come on." I dragged her away from the building.

  "Why are you in such a hurry?" Lulu complained when we were in the car. "How was the massage?"

  "Forget about the massage. I'm excited to bring you to the cafe." I kept my gaze front and centered. I haven't told her about the circumstances that brought me there. Now I wasn't so sure if I should.

  The cool wind from the open window helped me calm down. I regrouped myself. By the time we got to the coffee shop, the crazy thoughts have been shoved in a box, sealed with a key, thrown to the sea. Once more, I was the determined friend, all goals and projects.

  "That's it," I said, killing the engine.

  Lulu glanced at the building. In the daylight, it looked nothing more than a normal coffee shop, though I knew the magic really happened inside. "How did you find this place?" she said.

  "A bit of digging," I said vaguely. "Let's go."

  Like last night, the smell of roasted coffee was inviting when we came inside. I rushed to the counter, expecting to see the old woman and her flower crown. It was a different barista who welcomed me altogether, a man in a black apron and cap, his goatee being his prominent feature. He spent more time than humanly acceptable staring at my face. "I suggest the crème brulee blend." He swallowed. "We have a promo for today."

  "I'll have two of those," I confirmed, looking around, uninterested with him. "Is the old lady here? I wasn't able to ask for her name last night."

  "Old lady?"

  They must have had different shifts. How silly of me. "She's about this tall, kind of stooped, brown eyes, very motherly," I described. "I want to ask her something for a project. She was here at around two in the morning. Or maybe you can tell me what time you usually change shifts so I can wait for her, if that's possible."

  The barista scratched his chin. At least his tongue wasn't on the floor anymore. I've grown tired of men acting like an idiot around me. "Are you sure you're in the right cafe?" he asked.

  "I was here last night. I wouldn't be asking you if I wasn't." This was the place. The lights, the quotes on the wall, the furniture's, everything was correct except for him. The guy could have been new.

  He dropped his hand and gave me an awkward look. "There must be a mistake, miss. We close at ten o'clock every day sharp. Also, nobody by that description works here."

  Chapter 5

  Lulu pulled me out of the cafe when I began demanding to speak to the owner for answers, and the barista couldn't be of help. "How's that possible?" I kept asking her while she drove us back to the house. "He said he'd been working there for the last five years and hasn't encountered the old woman even when he took the late shift. I couldn't have imagined the whole thing, could I?" The houses were a blur when I glanced at the window. They wouldn't lead to the solution I was hoping for.

  "Have you heard of Harry's Pub?" Lulu said, after what seemed like a while.

  "I'm sure I haven't," I muttered.

  "Well the bar is located in Asia, named after Harry, the man who established it. In the country where Harry was born, it was legal to operate a pub from 12 in the afternoon onward. The age limit was more lax too, so imagine how hard it was for him when he migrated to Asia where the alcohol rules were stricter. He couldn't open the shop as much as before. To keep cash flowing, Harry cleverly disguised his business as a family restaurant in the morning where kids and their parents can go and eat pancakes and waffles. At night, it transforms into a pub for grownups. Clever huh?"

  My reflection on the car window smiled at me. I saw where she was going with this. The cafe could be operating like Harry's pub, transforming with different customers in morning and at night. That's why the male staff didn't know the old woman. "Lulu, you're a genius." I grabbed her face with both hands and kissed each cheek. "Where would I be without you
?"

  "Somewhere in Europe behind bars." She giggled. "And we'll both be dead if you continue that. Let me drive properly." I settled back on my seat. Tonight for sure. I would go back to the coffee shop, see the old woman, and ask for her permission to prowl. I didn't normally do that, but because everything needed to be documented properly, I might as well.

  At midnight, dressed comfortably in jeans and t-shirt, adamant to blend in, Lulu and I came back to the cafe. The lights were switched off inside, nothing like the lively place I was expecting to arrive in. "What time did you get here the other day?" she said, craning her neck to see past the darkness.

  "Around two. They could be operating from one to six. We should wait here in the car." I opened the radio to pass the time.

  By three o'clock, I had dozed off thrice and had been stunned into awareness by Lulu. She'd shake my shoulders violently whenever she thought someone would enter the building. At six o'clock when the world had once again opened its eyes, Lulu and I were so bleary-eyed that we agreed to go home even without the success. In my own bed I drifted into a restless sleep, my dreams bordering on strange coffee shop disappearances and an unidentified woman with an animal designed ring on her finger.

  Lulu was dressed and ready when I finally shrugged off the blanket and walked to the living room in my pajamas. "It's afternoon," she said, checking her phone for the time. "Our stakeout last night was a failure, so I thought you'd be bummed today. I'm taking you out for a movie date to compensate. Get your butt to the bathroom, Scottie." I smiled tiredly at her. Lulu always knew how to cheer me up. In these instances, I wished I could tell Casper to get his eyes fixed so he could see her as a potential girlfriend already. If only she didn't want me to interfere.

  We've only been to the movie house for five minutes and we were already bickering on what film to watch. I pointed to a poster. "I want to see that spy movie," I said. My eyes shifted to another cooler poster. "I changed my mind. We should totally check that out."

  "Hurry up," a guy grumbled behind us. "You're holding the line."

  I turned to roll my eyes at him. "You should have gotten here earlier if you're in such a hurry to watch," I said. "Unless you change the constitution, you can't make me move from this spot, mister. I'm going to stand here all day making my decision, you hear?" I received murderous glances from most of the people in line, especially from women whose boyfriends have been eye flirting me since we've arrived. Geez. Couldn't a person choose a movie leisurely? It was a rare thing for me and Lulu to watch in public theatres, given that both of us had one in our respective houses.

  "They're going to start a fight if we don't pick soon," Lulu whispered nervously. "How about that movie with the kickass looking girl with big guns. You always choose those at home."

  "Don't you want them to wait a little longer?" I said, intentionally irritating everyone. Lulu shook her head and reached for her purse. I waved to the crowd and blew kisses to the gentlemen while she was buying the tickets. I loved teasing people.

  Lulu, in the meantime, wanted to pacify everyone. "They're short on change," she explained to the couple behind us. "We're still waiting for it." She didn't have to say that. We didn't owe these people anything. It wasn't like we stood there that long to pick. They were just being rude. "Here's the ticket seller," she announced.

  The coins she was about to get rolled back to the counter accidentally. The ticket seller bent to retrieve it, disappearing from view. A few seconds later, a hand appeared on the surface and pushed a coin to the small hole. I wasn't paying much attention until I saw the ring on her finger. It was shiny and pretty, coaxing to me like a lighthouse calling the seafarer home. The hand vanished as quickly as it materialized. It couldn't have been a coincidence. It was the third time.

  I pushed Lulu away, to everyone's surprise, and pounded on the glass. "Who are you?" I said, trying to see inside. "Show yourself this instant." Once my interest was piqued, there was no stopping me. I pressed my face on the glass.

  "That's it, I'm going to watch in another theatre," a guy on the line said. The chorus of frustrations from the people added to my own bewilderment.

  "What in the world are you up to?" Lulu said, alarmed.

  I inserted my hand into the small hole of the booth, then my arm, trying to reach someone. "There's somebody there," I grunted. "She'd been following me for days. First on the taxi. Second time on the spa." She was messing with the wrong person.

  Lulu's arms circled my waist and began to pull me backward. "We're going to get in trouble with security."

  Who cared about security? Only a glass separated me from the mysterious person. I reached deeper. "I'll have you fired if you don't show me your face," I warned. "You think I'm joking? Try telling me that when you don't have a job."

  Almost instantaneously, a blue handkerchief was waved up. It was followed by a teenage boy with a gap on his front teeth, lower lip trembling and ready to piss himself. "Please don't take my livelihood away," he said. "The rest of the coins are still down there. I'm trying to search for them." What? I glanced at his hand. There was no ring on his finger. It wasn't him. Somehow, I felt like I've been toyed with, made fun of, though I didn't know by who or why. I snatched my arm back from the hole, none too happy by the turn of events.

  In the one week that passed after that incident, I've become a set of jumbled nerves. A paranoid freak. Back home with my parents, I never felt the need to get a bodyguard, even when my family's status meant that a number of people would be envious of us. While most articles had been made to contest our similarities in features, the reality was an ordinary person wouldn't recognize us in the streets. We weren't celebrities. We were bankers and innovators. Furthermore, I could defend myself just fine. What I didn't like was the thought of having a stalker. It made it harder to walk around without looking over my shoulders.

  At night, Lulu and I would go to the cafe to do a stakeout. Still nothing. The barista I've talked to and the other crew would leave the establishment at ten, sometimes eleven if customers left later than usual. Nothing would follow after. No second opening like Lulu suggested. No old woman. No lesbians. No subjects. Which meant, back to square one. But we were in the fifth chapter, friends and family, and I'd like to remind you that Scotland was a very determined girl. Square one was nothing to me. Nothing I tell you. Nothinggggggg. Fades away.

  Come Thursday night, the house smelled heavily of perfume. The floor had been cleaned, the dishes washed, things were in prime order, and Lulu, clothed in a maroon dress and black heels, her hair pulled up, was spraying the house with more perfume. I sneezed.

  "Bless you," she said on her way to the kitchen. Her eyes were brighter than usual, her cheeks redder. She was excited because Casper was coming for a visit. Done with baptizing the house, she went to me. "Do you think I should change?"

  "With what? That's your fourth dress for the evening. Unless you've managed to have everything back home delivered here, you're going to run out of things to try." I tapped the sofa. "Sit with me, Lu. You're beautiful as you are. I'm sure Casper will like your outfit." She collapsed next to me, sighing. "I can talk to him for you," I volunteered.

  "I'm not that desperate," she said. I thought of the voodoo stuff hidden away in her bedroom. Right. "Maybe a little," she admitted. "But I'd like him to make the effort, not me."

  I pretended to impale my hand with a stake. "How much effort does it take to stick pins on the doll?"

  "That's not fair," she said. "I was interested with voodoo way before I liked your brother. It just happened that it can help me with him too, you know. It's like killing two birds with one stone."

  I put a hand over my mouth in shock. "Don't talk about killing my brother in front of me. You're making me an accessory to your crime." The doorbell rang before I could continue provoking her. "That's probably him. Are you ready?" She pinched my butt as a response. A bouquet of flowers was thrust to me when I opened the door. "Hello to you too," I said to Casper. The flowers were mome
ntarily squished between us when we hugged. "Welcome to my humble abode. Don't trip on your way in."

  His eyes sparkled when he noticed Lulu on the living room. "Both of you are looking well." He stepped forward to shower her with kisses on the cheeks. I left them to fend for themselves so I could put the bouquet on the kitchen table. It was nice arrangement of orchids and roses, excellent for housewarming. They haven't lost their flowery aroma too.

  The two were in the middle of talking about the neighborhood and its niceties when I returned. It was a one-sided conversation, really. Casper's eyes roamed the room, looking more at the decors than at Lulu who drawled on. Damn, big brother. How could you be so dense? I put a protective hand around my best friend. "We can talk over dinner. I'm sure all of us are hungry," I said.

  Casper told us about his own adventures on our way to the restaurant. "My buddies from the university are planning to take a trip to Peru to see the Machu Picchu," he said. "I'm not sure if I'm going."

  "Why not?" Lulu asked.

  He gave her a lopsided smile. "I remember promising both of you that we'll see it together. Besides, I'm scared to stray too far from my sister. Not that I don't trust you," he added quickly. "It's her I don't trust."

  Both of them screamed for dear life when the car swerved to an approaching SUV. I chuckled under my breath. "Be careful with your words, Caspie. I'm the one behind the wheel today." I waved to the other driver on the side mirror to tell him we were okay. "You should go with your friends to Machu Picchu, then visit with us again. I don't take the touristy route. It will be like your first time."

  He turned to Lulu, eyes still wide. "This is why you should keep an eye on her. She'll get you killed."

  "I will." Lulu nodded firmly. "So when do you think can we visit? I heard the Incan citadel was really impressive back in the day. Their technology at the time was so great that it was thought they used magic. Wouldn't that be awesome, seeing what was left of that?"

  "Yeah. . ." Casper trailed. He didn't sound as enthusiastic as he was a while ago. I sighed. It was always like this with them. Casper would warm up to Lulu, then by some chance she'd mention voodoo, magic, or something disturbing that would make him clam up and ignore her. I wasn't so sure that her hobby was helping with him. If any, it was turning him off. I didn't want her to choose one over the other though. That's what made it sad.